Dating advice for the shy guy dating websites washington dc
Don’t fret too much if you can’t understand why some social situations scare you and others don’t.
And don’t be too hard on yourself if you would genuinely prefer to stay in with a good book rather than go out to some rager.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes, which is often attributed to Mark Twain. I’ve written before about how negative thoughts will of course come to mind – that’s totally natural, and not your fault.
(Though it might have actually been said by James A. But spending too much time indulging in these negative fantasies is not just useless, it’s potentially damaging to your long-term mental and emotional health.
For years I felt like some anti-social hermit because I got uncomfortable at big parties or in other stimulating social situations.
But I also felt confused, because I loved going to my favorite bars and hanging out with a group of friends, even when that group consisted of a lot of people.
Part of the reason I found talking to other people so intimidating in my early 20s is because I erroneously assumed that I was a below-average socializer.
As a result, I largely ignored the thoughts and feelings of others, which prevented me from seeing that most of them weren’t exactly social butterflies either.
It took me the better part of a decade to figure it out, and even now I can’t claim to be an expert.
But I’ve certainly come a long way since my days as a timid and intimidated 21-year-old.
But Cain’s book is essentially devoted to making the case that this isn’t true: introversion is not just “OK” – in its own way, it’s actually awesome.
There are a lot of benefits to being an introvert, including increased self-sufficiency, deeper relationships and a greater appreciation for subtlety and nuance, to name just a few. Pick up Susan Cain’s book to read her full, compelling argument for the power of introverts. Or Winston Churchill…) Regardless of where the quote originated, it gets at an essential truth that many of us can probably relate to: the tendency to imagine negative scenarios that will never come to pass.