Better to be friends before dating
"I think that if you are more comfortable just hanging out with a person than when you are on a date, the friendship card might be too strong to ignore," Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle.
"If you feel different when you are on an official date with this person, it is time to step back and figure out if your friendship with them is more valuable than a possible romantic relationship."To try to minimize any hurt feelings — or lost friendships — you want to be really honest about what's going on and how you're feeling, every step of the way.
Friendship is so important in a relationship that a 2012 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who valued the friendship part of their romantic relationship over other aspects of their relationship (like, for example, the sexual aspect) had more romantic and sexual success in both the short long term.
Valuing the friendship aspect more than the passionate aspects – or, in other words, the inevitably volatile aspects – means you will work harder to make sure your relationship remains stable, even when problems arise.
In contrast, being aloof and challenging made a person more attractive and desirable, but did not make them likeable.(Are there things you keep secret from your partner? (Are there times you dread spending time with your partner?) You freely give your time, energy and attention to your friends. )We should be giving our relationship partners the same kind of support we give our friends. in Psychology Today, in order for a relationship to be successful, there must be a balance between two very different concepts that reflect both the friendship and passionate parts of a relationship.Satisfying your partner's needs or wants increases how much he or she likes you and how friendly he or she feels toward you — but it can also reduce his or her desire to chase you for more.In contrast, not satisfying a partner's needs may keep him or her passionately pursuing you and trying to please you, but will eventually lead to dislike, dissatisfaction and animosity.
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During my semester abroad in college, I went on a trip to Rome with my best guy friend, and I can guarantee you neither of us felt a spark or tried to make "love" happen, even when we were admiring the Colosseum together or eating spaghetti and drinking wine under the dim lights of romantic outdoor restaurants. If you're in the category of male/female friendship in which something more could definitely be on the horizon, know that taking that leap of faith could be the best decision you'll ever make.